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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  October 9, 2012 11:00pm-11:30pm PDT

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bitch. - aah! (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. oh, we got a nice one for you tonight! ben affleck, director, actor, writer ben affleck will be joining us with a great new movie "argo."
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but first. ladies and gentlemen -- (laughter) with just four weeks to go to election day the insurmountable, unblowable lead the that president barack obama enjoyed post-convention -- (laughter) -- has been mounted and moan by mitt romney. (laughter) (laughter) no? (cheers and applause) i stand by that phrase. (laughter) and it is now mitt romney who cannot be mounted or blown. i -- you know, there's a better -- will there's a better way of saying this, i'm sure. so perhaps now is the time to actually pay attention to what our future overlord has been saying. (laughter) his dreams, his assessment of the state of the country now that he is 100% assured of winning this election as obama was just last weekend. (laughter) >> this is unacceptable.
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it is not working. trillion-dollar deficits for the last four years. there's over $16 trillion in debt. harder and harder for small businesses to grow and thrive. the amount of debt we're adding at a trillion a year is simply not moral. >> jon: not moral! (laughter) that means for mitt romney this terrible debt is worse than of fept. (laughter) >> jon? >> yes, mormon god. >> not cool, bro. (laughter) >> jon: shouldn't you be on broadway? (cheers and applause) >> no, no! >> jon: little joke there. but all right we have been irresponsible with government spending. romney, bring the tough love. what are we going to lose? >> i don't want any change to medicare for current seniors or for those that are nearing retirement. no change in social security for
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those that are in retirement or near retirement. >> jon: all right, so it's immoral debt but hands off the core entitlements! they've literally been grandfathered in-- grandmothered. (laughter) probably the more peripheral entitlements got to go. >> i'm going to make sure we have the kind of training programs that give people the skills they need for the jobs of today. >> jon: okay, so hands off chinese language instruction programs. (laughter) i guess the cuts are going to come from big spending boon doog stuff like defense. >> i'll restore our navy to the size needed to fulfill our missions. by building 15 ships per year, including three submarines. >> jon: it may sound fiscally irresponsible -- (laughter) -- but with three submarines just seven more and america gets a free sandwich! (cheers and applause) so big defense projects -- did
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you enjoy that? big defense projects and the socialist programs, those will not be touched. looks like somebody's raising taxes. >> i'm going to lower rates across the board for all americans by 20%. >> jon: what? (cheers and applause) this is incredible! we get to keep all our stuff and pay less too? this is like those special potato chips that they made with olestra that had all the flavor -- (laughter) but none of the calories and, of course, every now and again there was a hint -- a skosh of age leakage but it's fine. (laughter) you know, you'd be in a meeting and your ass would do a spit take but -- (laughter) but the point is this. they were delicious. (laughter) what red blooded american wouldn't trade flavor for
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occasional ass-juice? (laughter) the point is -- by the way, i am just going to assume they are not a sponsor. (laughter) i don't -- that's a phone call i don't think i would want to take. romney, what are you cutting? anything? >> obamacare ads trillions to our deficits and to our national debt. i will repeal obamacare. >> jon: all right. that's something. and while the statement "obamacare adds trillions to our deficit and to our national debt" is a lie! (laughter) it's a complete lie. (laughter) the point is it's going. we have an immoral debt. while covering people with pre-existing conditions and keeping people on their parent's health insurance is popular, cuts have to be made. >> there are a number of things that i like in health care reform. one is to make sure that those with pre-existing conditions can get coverage. two is to assure that the
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marketplace allows for individuals to have policies that cover their family up to whatever age they might like. >> jon: so you're repealing obamacare but you're keeping the good parts of health care, social security, and medicare for current seniors and you're going to keep the employment and you're going to cut taxes by 20% and build more submarines and destroyers that the pentagon doesn't want and tackle our immoral debt and deficit. i'm going to ask you a question. let me see if i got it here. as an american voter-- and i think this is important-- are you a wizard? (laughter) (cheers and applause) do you know or have you ever captured a leprechaun? (laughter) is there a goose in your house whose eggs are gigantic and unliftbly heavy in?
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because if not, you're lying! (laughter) >> let's get rid of the loopholes, deductions, special deals such that we're able to pay for the reductions. >> jon: oh, that's how you'll pay. closing loopholes. let's do it. what are we starting with? mortgage interest and charitable donations? that's $150 billion a year in the government kitty. >> i want to make sure you understand, for middle income families the deductibility of home mortgage interest and the charitable contributions, those things will continue. (laughter) >> jon: kitty still hungry. how about the cap al gains loophole that lower tax rate on investment income. that's $71 billion ayear, giveaway to 1%ers if there ever was one. >> one of the reason that it's lower is because capital has already been taxed once at the corporate level. as high as 35%. i, so i you think it is fair? >> yeah, i think it's the right way to encourage economic
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growth. >> in fact, romney hasn't specified a single (bleep)ing deduction! ten largest current individual tax breaks totaling $4842 billion a year for elimination, not one. dude couldn't be more vague if he were an hbo season finale. boom! boom! (cheers and applause) take that "hung" season 3. (laughter) how could he they not let us know what ray is going to do next with his giant dong? (laughter) well, you can't expect romney to lay out a specific plan with numbers and budgets. he's not a businessman, he's -- sorry? (laughter) we need a numbers guy. >> those of you who know me, i'm kind of a numbers guy. >> jon: there he is! the capitol hill accountant! the wonk from wisconsin. the mathematician from -- madison's general vicente fox cindy. lay it on us, numbers guy.
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how do we know the romney/ryan fiscal plan will work? >> i've run the numbers in congress, they do. >> jon: okay. (laughter) so what are the numbers? >> how much would it cost? >> it's revenue neutral. >> how much does that cost? >> it's revenue neutral. >> you haven't given me math. >> well, i don't have the -- it would take me too long to go through all of the math. >> jon: how about this? you busy? leave it with us, we'll look it over. (laughter) unless it's all bull (bleep). (laughter) this reminds me of something. reminds me of a simpler time when the country was also emerging from a gigantic financial crisis and a bold young man running for his second presidential term was asserting the need for wealthier americans to sacrifice to help pay for popular social programs. i remember it like it was yesterday. >> let me warn you and let me warn the nation against the
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invasion that says "of course we believe these things. we believe in social security. we believe in work for the unemployed. we believe in saving homes. cross our hearts and hope to die. we believe in all these things." (cheers and applause) >> but we do not like the way the present administration is doing them! just turn them over to us. (laughter) we will do all of them. we will do more of them. we will do them better. and most important of all, the doing of them will not cost anybody anything. (cheers and applause) >> jon: yeah, i bet that guy
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lost. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause)
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(cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome back! with the wide-open election heading into its final week, are even the candidates' most reliable voting block up for grabs? jessica williams has more. >> as we know, 95% of african americans are voting for president obama. but how do mormons feel about mitt romney?
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i headed to utah to find out. okay, thank you, guys, for meeting up with me. (laughter) um -- i'm here to talk to mormons. >> we are all mormons. >> we are. >> oh, my god. yes, black mormons. >> we are all members of the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints. >> oh, my gosh. someone make a fortune of this (bleep). (laughter) they were like myth kl creatures the unicornings of politics. is this all you guys? >> no, heaven's no. >> no. >> there's quite a few here in the valley in salt lake. >> four or five more? >> no, there are more than you would imagine. >> these and the 17 other black mormons embody the central questions facing voters this election. >> it's confusing. like do you vote for the black guy, do you vote for the mormon guy? >> we're in a position that no
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other people in america can be in election. >> seeing the first black african american president was exciting. mitt romney, mr. romney, brother romney, we are of the same faith and i like him >> however which way you guys vote you guys are gonna win? >> yes. (laughter) >> but then you guys are definitely all gonna lose, too. so who do you choose? okay, we're going to do a quick test to find out if you're more black or more mormon. so, lynn, how do you feel about the fact that the mormon church didn't really fully accept african americans until about 1978? >> most churches have racism in their history. >> i'm just gonna go ahead and count that as mormon. >> okay. >> finish this sentence "the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire --" >> we don't no water let the roof just burn! >> okay, that's pretty mormon.
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(laughter) >> the thing is, you cannot put us in a glass jar. we're americans who happen to be black and happen to be mormon. >> you know what? you're right. i'm really sorry that i kind of try to put everybody into a box. >> i agree. >> okay, now how does the black part of you feel about my apology? >> i accept it. >> okay, now how does the mormon side of you feel about that? >> same way, exact same way. >> with the margins razor thin every vote counts. so i was going to help this rarest of people come to a decision. all right, so let's talk about black mormon issues, okay? like, um -- (laughter) um -- the good news is black mormons are just like the rest of us. >> obama, i like his position on
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health care. health care under obama is a tax >> can you please refer to him as president obama? i mean, show him some respect, i mean goodness. (cheers and applause) >> you're saying how do i like what president obama has done is jacked up the debt. >> ain't it interesting that the republican guy back there is the angry black man? (laughter) >> and like the rest of us, this election is tearing them apart. >> this guy sounds just like a white republican. >> he didn't win because of his skin color. >> he didn't win because he had a beater team that got on the internet -- >> yes, he did. >> i think you're selling america short. >> no. >> guys, there's so few of you. there can't be black mormon against black mormon. >> why can't we? >> yes, no matter who they vote for these black mormons are just like every other american-- argumentative and intolerant of each other's view points. >> i'm not being contentious, i'm just
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(cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome back, my guest tonight is an actor an fine director. his new film which he directed and stars in is called "argo." >> they can't ride bicycles or we're prepared to send in somebody to teach them.
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>> or you could just send in training wheels and meet them at the border with gatorade. >> it's 300 miles. >> turkish border. they'd need a support team following them. >> we were just asked to sharp shoot this. >> i'm sorry, who is this? >> he's got a lot of the shaws people out. it's winter. >> can't afford to wait around till spring. the only way out of the city is the airport. they build new cover identities for them, take them out on a commercial flight. >> jon: i remember smoking in meetings. (laughter) please welcome back to the show ben affleck. (cheers and applause) >> jon: young man, despite the wiz bang nature of that clip, there's a lot of excitement in the movie. >> it's very suspenseable. it's a -- not a bureaucracy
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movie. >> jon: not a bureaucracy movie at all. i have a lot of actors on the movie. not a ton, but a few. enough. >> sure. >> jon: and i often times will lie to their faces. will say to them -- (laughter) "well, this is a tremendous work you've done" and the actor hugh grant comes to mind. (laughter) (audience reacts) i watched the film today. phenomenal. phenomenal. suspenseful. interesting. well researched, well acted, well directed. the energy of it. do you know when you're in the middle of this -- >> i'm done. thank you very much! (cheers and applause) >> jon: no, no, i was incredibly impressed with the film. >> thank you very much. i appreciate it. i think the actors only rarely lie to your face. >> jon: what? >> had a great time, thanks, good to see you. (laughter) >> jon: it's terrible. >> yes? >> jon: to do a film about iran in 1979, where did this story
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even come from? i've lived in this country a long time, i never heard of it. >> it's a true story. it happened obviously around the hostage era, during the larger hostage crisis. six people got out. they escaped, they hid out with the canadians, they were rescued by a c.i.a. officer who teamed up with folks in hollywood. they pretended to be a -- like a science fiction movie crew to go back and get them out of tehran. it's like a horrible movie if it wasn't true, you know what i mean? but it's tense and funny and exciting and i just got this -- a guy read this -- josh bierman found the declassified materials, a brilliant writer then wrote a script from it, they sent it to me, it seemed clear that even just with the most feeble execution i could do something special. (laughter) >> jon: but this is not -- this is not feeble, you clearly have worked out. there was a scene in the movie with your shirt off. (cheers and applause) >> that's kind of a trademark.
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(laughter) >> jon: i've got to tell you, at the time i was saying "ah, it's a little gratuitous." >> i showed that to some of the producers and it was me getting out of the shower and toweling off. >> jon: the whole thing, yeah. >> you know, i don't have any notes except do you want to tell him or should i? you know, this shower scene may be --. >> jon: close it down a little bit there. >> just a little bit, yeah. >> jon: did you meet the foreign service workers that were in the embassy in iran? are they alive? >> i did. there are five of the six houseguests who were there, the diplomats who did the family members of chambers, the guy who alan arkin played. my character i worked with very closely. so we had this nucleus of people on how to keep it real and also to told me that this is in fact in mart a tribute to the dangers our diplomats face, our foreign service people face without any hope for recognition. i mean, obviously in benghazi we saw the tragic result there.
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and this is really something that -- you know, in addition to your family, being away from your wife and kids, all this tough stuff. so when i saw that stuff happening i said silver lining for me about this movie was we were honored to make it. >> jon: what's amazing to me-- and it's always struck me-- is no matter how the situation is in any country, how chaotic, how volatile canadian cans travel freely. (cheers and applause) there's guys in the streets with machine guns blowing each other away, chaos in the street and suddenly a car pulls in with two canadian flags and they just drive in. >> go on, go on. (laughter) i didn't realize. we're in the middle of a violent revolution but you're canadian, you're good people, go on. remarkable. >> they're a peaceful people. they're a known peaceful people. this is a big -- you know, we worked together with them. they housed our folks, saved our lives.
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it was international cooperation. all of the good things we like to see. and hiding under the shelter of canadians which is -- that's us, that's america, hide beg thibd canadians. (laughter) >> jon: you know what, i think they will enjoy that interpretation. very much so from what i can understood. this directing thing, though, i would continue to do this. >> kaput? >> jon:, beautiful, >> thank you very much. i appreciate it. >> jon: "argo" is in the theaters friday. you have to see this thing.
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